


Lucian-Niflheim Peace Process Derailed, Burned To Ground, Shoveled Over With Dirt

by vouivre



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Age Difference, Alternate Universe - Crack, Bad Flirting, Bad Pick-Up Lines, Dirty Talk, Idiots in Love, Jealousy, M/M, Mildly Dubious Consent, Mutual Pining, Politics, Possessive Behavior, Public Hand Jobs, Resolved Sexual Tension, Social Media, Swearing, Texting, Twitter, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-14
Updated: 2017-01-25
Packaged: 2018-09-17 10:48:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,272
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9320297
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vouivre/pseuds/vouivre
Summary: Cor told Regis peace talks with the Niffs were a bad idea. Repeatedly. So really no one could blame him for what happened.Monica Elshett @just_purrfect - 2 min@highkey “Let it go,” he said. “It will be boring anyway,” he said. And of course I’m missing out on the good stuff againMonica Elshett @just_purrfect - 1 min@highkey Make sure to take more pictures





	1. Study: Average Lucian’s Interests Have Practically No Influence On Government Policy

**Author's Note:**

> special thanks to [anna](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Miralana/pseuds/Miralana) who kicked my ass repeatedly, sent me bad pick up lines and provided headcanons. if it wasn't for her this thing wouldn't exist and i would still cry over an empty document

Inviting a delegation of the Empire on Lucian territory had been one of the king’s worse ideas. Allowing them to bring a suspiciously large entourage of military advisors and soldiers was plain stupidity and Cor had been trying to talk some sense into his king for the better part of the last month.

Hell at some point he’d even enlisted the help of Clarus to stop this madness. Which in hindsight, had been completely pointless considering the fact that the man was putty in the king’s hands and had been rather quickly convinced into siding with him.

Cor honestly felt like the only voice of reason left in the entire kingdom. He had actually considered to drive out to Hammerhead and have a good cry at Cid’s shoulder at least five times this week alone. And he was about to consider it a sixth time when Regis handed him the list of people who would be attending the long awaited peace talks between Lucis and Niflheim.

“Emperor Iedolas Aldercapt,” he read aloud with a voice that sounded like he was talking from the grave. “Chancellor Ardyn Izunia, High Commander Ravus Nox Fleuret, Commodore Aranea Highwind - that woman kicked me in the face once!” Cor stopped reading and lowered the paper to glare at the king who looked way too eager. “I hope you’re joking and have the actual list hidden somewhere in your pocket. Because if this is actually a thing and the entire government of the empire as well as their military staff are about to show up on our doorstep in less than a week I’m going to quit and move to the countryside from where I will watch and laugh when Insomnia inevitably gets sacked by the empire. And there is not a damn thing you can do to stop me.”

“You’ve sworn an oath to protect me. I could get you for high treason. I never would of course. But I could. Theoretically.”  
A king shouldn’t be allowed to look this smug. Period. Cor felt the sudden urge to crumple up the stupid list and shove it down Regis’ throat. Maybe he’d see reason once he choked on it.

“Fine,” he growled instead. “Be like that. But don’t come crying to me if your terrible plan doesn’t work out and we all die an unnecessary death. Because the only four words you’ll hear from me will be “I told you so” repeatedly for the rest of eternity.”

“There will be no need for crying. Emperor Aldercapt has been very forthcoming in our recent negotiations and I do believe that this meeting could be a very important step towards lasting peace.”

“Lasting peace, my ass,” Cor muttered under his breath. “I could give you like 394849 reasons why this is a bad idea, but since you’re obviously not interested in my opinion, let me instead assure you that, of course I and the rest of the Crownsguard will do everything in our power to protect you and the kingdom of Lucis as always. From your own gullibility and under protest,” he added for good measure.

“Thank you, my friend. I really appreciate your support in this matter.”  
With that the king turned away and headed straight for the door while Cor struggled to come up with an appropriate reply to this level of insolence.

“I am not supporting your craziness, I’m just doing my goddamn job!,” he yelled after Regis but it was too late.

The king was already gone and had taken the last shred of Cor’s resistance with him. He just hoped his surrender wouldn’t come back to bite him in the ass later.

 

The level of professionalism and self restraint Cor was displaying once the day finally arrived was astounding to put it mildly. The peace talks were scheduled to take at least a week, the king had insisted to accommodate the Niffs at the palace and Cor was just about ready to murder everyone including Regis. He had increased the safeguards significantly and even the Kingsglaive was here for additional manpower though most of them looked like Cor really felt. Not that he could blame them. Somehow he still managed to put on a face that didn’t look like he, the Marshal of the Crownsguard had any doubts regarding these peace talks.

When a reporter had intercepted Cor earlier to ask him of all people about his opinion on the situation his only comment had been that they were a great chance to unite Lucis, Niflheim and Eos in general and that the king had shown great foresight by taking the negotiations onto Lucian ground. It had sounded like a lot of made-up bullshit in his own ears still the man had apparently not only bought it but had also handed him his business card with a wink and a self-confident “Call me.” Cor hated it when that happened.

The fact that he had managed to keep a straight face during this short interview alone justified a pay raise. Right after everything was over. Provided that every important party involved was still alive and at least somewhat well.

 

Cor awaited the entourage of the empire at the palace along with the king, his son - whose attendance had been another issue between him and Regis that Cor had lost - and every other important member of the Lucian government including the entire council. So if the Niffs were indeed planning an attack like he was expecting them to this would be the perfect opportunity. He was ready to fight them with everything he had, hell, he’d jump in front of Regis to take a bullet for him even though he would make sure to look as condemning as possible while going down. His last words would probably be something along the lines of “I fucking hate you”.

His train of thoughts was interrupted by the sudden opening of the doors to the throne room. One of the servants who looked a lot like a nervous wreck came in. He bowed sharply before the gathered Lucians and cleared his throat before he formally announced the arrival of the Niflheim entourage.

“I present before you Emperor Iedolas Aldercapt of Niflheim, Chancellor Ardyn Izunia as well as High Commander Ravus Nox Fleuret, Commodore Aranea Highwind, General Caligo and General Loqi Tummelt.”

Cor had seen almost all of these faces at least once in his life. Two of them he’d even fought on the battlefield. He’d experienced first-hand what a sore loser Caligo could be.

Aranea Highwind nodded when she caught his eyes and he found himself returning the gesture without a second thought. She was the most frightening woman he’d ever met and that included Camelia on one of her bad days. Being on the receiving end of the Commodore’s infamous air strike felt like being hit by a car at 100 mph. A car that was able to grind him into the dirt with its heels and a condescending smirk on his lips. He respected her, he truly did. But the thought of her potentially wreaking havoc in the streets of Insomnia did little to nothing to ease his apprehension.

The man right next to her who was currently tugging at her sleeve like a misbehaving child craving attention was the only one he’d never seen before. And while he was clearly waiting for the increasingly annoyed woman to cave in his eyes were on Cor the entire time. The shit eating grin on his face set the Marshal’s antennae quivering. He was awfully pretty, there was no denying that. And he seemed to know that. The young man practically radiated confidence. He was one of these people who could enter a room and immediately be the center of attention just like that. Cor did absolutely not trust him.

While the king was welcoming their guests with a speech that had obviously been written by Clarus, Cor’s attention was solely on the man he assumed was Loqi Tummelt. The young general looked like the cat that got the canary, especially when Aranea finally leaned over to him and let him whisper in her ear. Whatever he said caused her to raise her eyebrows and lock eyes with Cor before she shook her head ever so slightly.

He didn’t possess the ability to read lips but whatever her answer was it caused the General’s smile to widen in a way that sent chills down Cor’s spine. Something about the way Loqi looked at him made him wish he would’ve stayed in bed this morning.

The fact that Aranea was currently elbowing the High Commander with a concerned look on her face didn’t exactly dispel his suspicions.

 

They were allowed to mingle before the official part. According to the king to “get to know each other and overcome the differences between our countries”. Cor didn’t want to overcome any differences, he wanted to run the Niffs out of Insomnia and fast. He couldn’t remember a situation in his life where he had ever felt this uneasy. His plan had been to stay glued to the king’s side the entire day, but Regis was having none of it.

“How am I supposed to have a proper conversation with you breathing down my neck? Go and bother someone else. You could even try to have fun for once, but be careful that your face doesn’t crack when you try to smile.”

“That’s not fair,” he’d protested. “I know how to have fun. I just don’t like other people watching me while I have fun.”

It was only after Regis had chuckled and patted his shoulders sympathetically he’d realized that that sentence had sounded way better in his head.

So now he was definitely not sulking in a corner from which he could keep and eye on all the Niffs in the room. He spotted Aranea talking to the prince and had to suppress the urge to barge in and whisk the boy off to safety. Especially when both of them got out their phones. Exchanging numbers with the enemy. Cor gritted his teeth. Had he taught him nothing?! Looked like he would have to have a few words with the prince later.

On cue his own phone vibrated. Probably Monica. Of the few people who knew his number she was the only one who dared to text him regularly either to send him pictures of her cats, chain messages or wanted to rant about some of the people they’d encountered due to their job. Since she was on duty to guard the crystal he’d expected inquiries about the latter. Monica loved drama as long as it didn’t involve her and always needed to know at least 105% of what was going on. The fact that he hadn’t placed her in the throne room where - according to her - the good shit was happening had been an issue between them since he had released the schedule for this week but apparently she’d overcome her grudge to satisfy her curiosity.

Except that his phone just didn’t stop vibrating. And the messages were not from her nor any other number he knew. Confused, he stared at the string of messages that was getting longer and longer while he was reading them.

**3:54 PM 01499403949**

i just wanna say sorry in advance

told him hes just being a pain in the ass again

little shit never listens

u can punch him if u want no ones gonna blame u

i punch him all the time hes used to it

tho if u do it you he might be into it idk

hes got some weird kinks we all shame him for it

well most of us shame him for it

and then theres ardyn  
  
---  
  
Cor frowned when he read the Chancellor’s name. This wasn’t right. He wasn’t entirely sure what the sender was talking about, but he might have an idea about their identity. He slowly looked up and locked eyes with Aranea who mouthed “I’m sorry” in his direction. He still had no clue what or who she was talking about. However, he knew who would be in a lot of trouble later for giving his number to her.

**4:07 PM Cor Leonis**

I have no idea what you’re talking about. Please stop texting me and delete my number immediately.  
  
---  
  
**4:11 PM 01499403949**

u will see

if u need some consolation later im here

promise

no one deserves that  
  
---  
  
Cor considered blocking her number, but decided against it for some reason. Maybe it would come in handy someday. One could never know. Also the messages still puzzled him.

**4:13 Cor Leonis**

This will have consequences.  
  
---  
  
**4:14 Noct Noct**

I DID NOTHING WRONG  
  
---  
  
He secretly hoped that no one would approach him, but it turned out his hopes had been futile when the same reporter who had interviewed him earlier, apparently decided that Cor looked lonely and was in dire need of some company.

“Fancy meeting you again, Marshal. I’ve noticed you don’t look particularly thrilled to be here. A real shame, you seemed so eager about these peace talks before. Name’s Dino by the way, I’ve interviewed you earlier. Gave you my card.”

Cor shook his hand with as much enthusiasm as he could muster, which was not a whole lot but Dino didn’t seem to notice. Or maybe he just didn’t care. He struck Cor as a kind of person who didn’t give two shits about his opponent’s opinion as long as he could hear himself talk.

“You know I was wondering if you are on duty right now,” the reporter continued as he crept closer.

Was that guy seriously trying to hit on him now? Cor blinked and tried to shuffle away but found himself with his back to the wall all too soon. Corner, right. He had effectively trapped himself and thus could only rely on his diplomatic skills to escape the situation since he didn’t want to cause a scene in front of someone who could earn his entire hard-earned reputation with a few well-placed lines in one of Insomnia’s many gossip papers. In other words he was completely and utterly fucked. Metaphorically speaking.

“I am in fact on duty,” he replied, hoping it would get the other to back off.

But Dino merely smiled and casually leaned against the wall next to him, close enough that his shoulder was brushing against Cor’s. For one second the Marshal wondered if Aranea had talked about this but he kind of doubted it. There was no way she could’ve foreseen this.

“Oh, you know I don’t mind keeping you company.”

Cor wanted to scream. He didn’t though. He was the Marshal of the Crownsguard and he did have some dignity. Somewhere. Probably. He would have to look for it later. When he was not trapped in a corner with Dino shamelessly throwing himself at him.

 

He was so busy thinking about a proper response that would hopefully not be printed in any papers tomorrow that he totally lost his focus and didn’t even notice the Niff approaching until he was standing directly in front of him.

Loqi Tummelt was still smiling though there was a sharp edge to it now as he locked eyes with the suddenly suspiciously looking Dino.

“Long time no see,” he greeted the reporter while completely ignoring Cor. “I didn’t know they allowed double-faced lowlifes to attend such an important meeting, but apparently I was wrong. Now I’m not going to tell anyone about the many, many things you did, but I do recommend you look for another leg to hump since I already called dibs and you know how much I hate sharing ~”

Dino paled visibly and the glare he shot Loqi was so full of burning hatred, Cor was actually surprised that the General didn’t drop dead there and then. He watched the reporter leave with the ominous feeling that he’d just jumped out of the frying pan into the fire because now the Niff was giving him his undivided attention and he pretty much resembled a predator circling his prey at the moment.

His phone vibrated in his pocket. Again. And again. This had to be Aranea. He wanted to look at her texts, he really did, but he was afraid that if he’d break eye contact for even a second Loqi would actually try to eat him. They just kept staring at each other for what it felt like hours. Loqi’s eyes were a dark shade of blue. And he had really, really long lashes.

Cor absent-mindedly licked his too-dry lips which caused the General’s smirk to widen. He felt the coldness of the marble wall through his jacket and suddenly became aware how this must’ve been looking like. The Marshal of the Crownsguard pressed against the wall with a Niff in front of him that looked like he couldn’t decide whether to eat him or jump his bones. Neither sounded like something he should want and yet he couldn’t bring himself to just break eye contact and walk away. In hindsight he wished he had done just that.

 

 **highkey highwind** @highkey \- 9 min  
no @ravusnox u tell them to stop immediately  
[picture attached]

 **No.** @ravusnox \- 7 min  
@highkey No. I’m not doing this. It’s your turn to take care of him.

 **highkey highwind** @highkey \- 7 min  
@ravusnox i didnt raise him to be like this D:

 **Monica Elshett** @just_purrfect \- 5 min  
@highkey Is that the Marshal????? :O

 **highkey highwind** @highkey \- 5 min  
@just_purrfect unfortunately

 **Monica Elshett** @just_purrfect \- 2 min  
@highkey “Let it go,” he said. “It will be boring anyway,” he said. And of course I’m missing out on the good stuff again

 **Monica Elshett** @just_purrfect \- 1 min  
@highkey Make sure to take more pictures

 

“So,” Loqi purred and inched a little closer so that they were almost touching. “Aranea told me your name, Cor~”

Cor hadn’t known that his name could sound so much like liquid sex up until now. The way Loqi was drawing out the O did things to him. Things he did not want to think or talk about right now. Things that caused all his blood to travel into southern regions. He’s a Niff, he told himself. I don’t care, his dick replied. I’m in public, he tried to reason. I don’t care, his dick replied once again. Loqi bit his lower lip and Cor involuntarily made a noise in the back of his throat that could’ve been interpreted as a low growl.

“Oh,” Loqi sighed quietly, his eyes widening. He was leaning against him now, warm and solid and was looking up at him through these incredibly long lashes. “She also told me she fought you once and that you’re a man with many, many skills. What do you say Marshal? Should we take this somewhere more … private?”

“I’m on duty,” Cor heard himself reply.

“Hmmm,” Loqi sighed. “Such a shame. And here I thought you only used that as an excuse to keep Dino out off your pants. Can’t blame him for trying though. You are a very handsome man, Cor~”

Again with the name. Cor shivered with _want_ and _need_. He was this close to make out with the General in front of the entire palace and maybe, maybe he should pull himself together. But he was all out of fucks to give if he was being honest. The general was hot as hell, currently pressed against him, which was quite nice and Cor could generously ignore the fact that he was a Niff for a few hours.

“Well, I guess I could show you a thing or two as soon as my shift ends.”

“I would like that.”

Loqi gave him a heated look and for a moment Cor actually considered abandoning his post to drag the young man into the next best empty room and fuck him until he begged for mercy. But he had to resist. He was stronger than that. He was … getting grabbed by the collar and dragged down until their faces were mere inches apart.

“Let me just ask you a question, Marshal before I return to my people,” he murmured. “Tell me, do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?”

And just like that Cor’s boner died like a flower in the snow. He blinked at Loqi while his brain was still trying to process the fact that the young man had just used the most cheesy and overused pick up line in the history of pick up lines. It was M. E. 756. It should be illegal to say something like that. Loqi sure was pretty, but the pick up line had absolutely killed the mood and Cor wanted to scream in frustration.

He closed his hands about the general’s wrists and pried his hands away from his collar. A confused look crossed Loqi’s face when Cor gently but firmly shoved him aside. He opened his mouth, but Cor was faster.

“No,” he simply said. “I am not doing this.”

And then he just. Started walking. Past Loqi and the other Niffs who could murder Regis and take over Insomnia for all he cared. Past the king who could take his stupid peace talks and shove them right up his ass. Past the prince who was trying to hide his amused grin behind his hair, the little shit. Past everyone who had just witnessed this entire disaster. There would be talking. He didn’t care. There was only so much bullshit he could take in one day and Loqi had not just broken the bar, but lit in on fire, threw it on the ground and ran it over.

The last thing he heard before the heavy doors closed behind him with a thud was Aranea’s exasperated “What the fuck did you do **this** time?”

 

**4:23 PM Highwind**

run

welp too late i guess

try not to look directly at his face that boy is pretty and he knows it

u did look at his face didnt you

oh no

r u fucking kidding me rn

u r fucking W E A K  
  
---  
  
**5:17 PM Cor Leonis**

So about your offer …  
  
---  
  
**5:19 PM Highwind**

im not talking to u  
  
---  
  
**5:19 PM Cor Leonis**

In my defense, he really is pretty. I mean he has nice eyes. And lips. And I guess his voice is not too bad either.

Why am I telling you this?  
  
---  
  
**5:22 PM Highwind**

its okay pal

ur not the first one to fall for his act and u surely wont be the last

he slept with half the empire

the other half is female

u were totally into it tho y did u stop  
  
---  
  
**5:25 PM Cor Leonis**

Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?  
  
---  
  
**5:27 PM Highwind**

… uh im flattered but

i dont believe that would work out

sorry marshal im sure u will find someone  
  
---  
  
**5:31 PM Cor Leonis**

No I meant he used that line on me.  
  
---  
  
**5:32 PM Highwind**

he did not  
  
---  
  
**5:33 PM Cor Leonis**

He very much did.  
  
---  
  
**5:35 PM Highwind**

omfg

he tried the same move on ravus once and that might be the only reason ravus hasnt slept with him yet

it did work on ardyn tho

but u could offer the head of a child to ardyn without the rest of the child still attached to it and hed probably find it charming and fuck u six ways into sunday  
  
---  
  
**5:38 PM Cor Leonis**

What the fuck is wrong with you people?!  
  
---  
  
**5:42 PM Highwind**

ikr thats what im asking myself every day  
  
---  
  
* * *

 

**8:44 PM Highwind**

here r the pics

use them as u see fit

make sure that they cant be traced back to me  
  
---  
  
**8:56 PM Dino G.**

gotcha, hot stuff ;)  
  
---  
  
**8:59 PM Highwind**

Call me hot stuff again and I will crush you beneath my heels like the insect you are.  
  
---  
  
**9:04 PM Dino G.**

damn girl :O  
  
---


	2. Foreign Man Under Impression He Got Dressed Up

“I am going to fucking murder him.”

“Marshal please. He’s not worth the trouble. And you can’t just walk around and murder people.”

“No one needs to know, Monica. His body wouldn’t be the first I’d ever have to hide.”

“… I’m just gonna ignore what you just said thank you very much.”

“He’s a Niff. And a pain in the ass. No one would even miss him.”

“Marshal _no_.”

“Marshal yes.”

Monica let out a long-suffering sigh and once again tried to pry the crumpled newspaper from Cor’s clenched fingers. At least this time he didn’t hiss at her, although he still refused to let go of the offending item.

“I want you to collect every single newspaper in the entire kingdom and burn them all,” he instructed her.

Another sigh.

“This is not how it works, Marshal. Besides, I guess most people have read about it online anyway. I heard there’s even a video. In HD.”

“In HD,” Cor replied, scandalized. “ _In HD!_ If I ever find out who dared to film and upload this I’m gonna murder them as well.”

“Please don’t.”

He slammed the paper on the table so she could read the headline.

**STARCROSSED LOVERS:**

**THE SURPRISING CONCLUSION OF THE LUCIAN-NIFLHEIM PEACE TALKS OPENING**

By Dino Ghiranze

“That little shit,” Cor snarled.

Monica somehow managed to disguise her laughter as a not very convincing sounding cough. She’d already seen her fair share of articles about the matter at hand, since it was the most talked about topic in the entire city. The hashtags #loveatfirstsight and #starcrossed were trending on Twitter and she had also seen quite a few people using #corloqi and #makelovenotwar.

She wasn’t sure if the Marshal had checked any social media websites lately, but he would’ve probably already mentioned his opinion concerning the enthusiasm with which their communities wanted to see the general and him getting married. And by mentioning she meant he would’ve thrown another temper tantrum.

Monica hadn’t used any of these hashtags of course. She knew better than to piss her boss off. However, she might have had retweeted some of the texts and pictures a certain Twitter user @highkey had posted. They were just too entertaining and she considered it as sweet revenge for being stuck with crystal duty yesterday.

In addition to the whole ruckus online there was also someone tirelessly hanging up copies of articles and tweets all around the city and the palace. The Crownsguard had tried to take them down, of course, since they were fond of their own lives. But as soon as they turned away the papers would magically reappear in the exact same location.

Her number one suspect in this case was Drautos though unfortunately she could prove nothing yet. However, she had seen Nyx and Crowe near one of the crime scenes earlier, hiding something behind their backs. The fact that they both had quickly warped out of the window as soon as she had approached them had led her to the assumption that Drautos had ordered the entire Kingsglaive to mess with Cor. It wouldn’t be the first time.

Although the Marshal would probably be sulking for days Monica still considered this the most hilarious thing that had happened in a long time. That included the incident with the prince, the 24 cats and the homeless guy no one was allowed to talk about by order of the king.

“I did not “try to seduce the general”,” Cor snarled and clawed at the paper like an ill-tempered cat. “If anything the general tried to seduce me. Besides, it’s really not my fault that everyone and their dog just kept hitting on me. I did not ask for their attention. I’m a good person and I don’t deserve this. I merely did my duty like every other present member of the guard.”

Monica shrugged.

“I don’t know what exactly happened since I wasn’t there at the time,” she replied with the sweetest smile she could muster. “But you’re not an unattractive man, Marshal. I mean I wouldn’t touch you with a ten-foot-pole, but I know you as a person so I have a perfectly legitimate reason. Also, I’ve heard that some people are into intimidating looking men in uniform.”

He didn’t even raise an eyebrow at the not so subtle insult.

“Yeah, and I’ve heard that some people are into Behemoths because - and I quote - “they big” but they still manage to not drag innocent people into it against their will.”

The noise Monica made was not human.

“That is disgusting, messed up and I did not need to know that.”

“The world is a horrible place full of sick people. You need to realize that, Monica.”

“Thank you so much for these words of wisdom, Marshal. They have improved my life by exactly zero percent. Now if you could please, please pull yourself together, get properly dressed, leave your apartment and get to the palace before dinner is served that would brighten my entire day.”

He didn’t outright refuse, but there was definitely something in his eyes that screamed “make me” with the voice of a disobedient child.

“Otherwise, I have to go and fetch the king and we both know that’s about the last thing you want me to do.”

 

Cor was still looking like the exact opposite of happy by the time she left his apartment, but at least he was actively trying to make himself look presentable for their foreign guests.

Now that she could check of “provide emotional support for the marshal and prevent him from going on a killing spree” the only thing left on her to-do list for today was to stop the mischievous Glaives from ruining Cor’s day even more. He’d just make it his goal to hunt them down and let them suffer and that was a fate she wouldn’t wish on her worst enemy.

In addition to that chances were high that Cor would actually pit the Crownsguard against the Kingsglaive again and Monica had absolutely no interest in reliving their infamous war that had taken place in M.E. 753 and had started with Drautos “accidentally” setting fire to Cor’s best uniform pants and had ended with half of the Guard and the Glaive being either on forced leave or in the hospital.

To this day she was still haunted by memories of the gleeful expression on Pelna’s face just before he had hurled an entire three-floor pie into her direction. One of the many innocent victims who had lost their lives in this senseless war.

Monica shuddered. No, she really didn’t need any more of this nonsense. And so she decided to pay a visit to the restaurant where the Glaives usually met up, hoping to find one of them defenseless and ready to spill the beans.

 

 **lowkey loqi** @lowkey \- 4h  
i think i’m in love but he ignores me ♥╭╮♥

 **highkey highwind** @highkey \- 4h  
@lowkey ur a fuckin loser m8

 **lowkey loqi** @lowkey \- 4h  
@highkey suck my dick aranea

 **highkey highwind** @highkey \- 4h  
@lowkey error 404: dick not found

 **No.** @ravusnox \- 4h  
@highkey @lowkey Rekt lol

 **lowkey loqi** @lowkey \- 4h  
@highkey @ravusnox DID U JUST

 **Caligo** @caligNO - 1h  
@lowkey You’ve been in love five times this week alone.

 **lowkey loqi** @lowkey \- 1h  
@caligNO but this time it’s real!!!

 **Caligo** @caligNO - 1h  
@lowkey That’s what you said the other five times this week.

 

The first person Cor encountered when he arrived at the palace was - much to his surprise - Ravus Nox Fleuret, former prince of Tenebrae and High Commander of the imperial army whose expression basically indicated that an army of demons was hot on his heels. He almost walked straight into a pillar since he kept throwing panicked glances over his shoulder.

When he spotted Cor he flinched just to cover up his reaction by politely nodding at him without missing a beat when he recognized that the Marshal was - at least for a moment - not an enemy. Before Ravus vanished around the corner, he actually broke into a sprint. Cor could hear the sound of his footsteps fading.

He frowned and cautiously decided to check the empty hallway in case he had overlooked any monsters. But there was nothing potentially dangerous in sight except for Niffs roaming through the palace without proper supervision of course - he made a mental note to have a word with the Crownsguard later - so he shrugged the whole incident off as “weird shit the Niffs do”.

His urge to yell at someone increased tenfold however, when he spotted the imperial chancellor swaggering into his direction like the entire place belonged to him. Cor silently prayed the man would just ignore him and continue his way, but apparently this was not his lucky day. Week. Month. Year. Life.

“Good day to you, Marshal,” he was greeted. “It is wonderful to see you up and about again after you’ve left yesterday’s party rather hastily. Our young general was quite devastated that you ditched him.”

“I bet he was,” Cor grumbled, blood pressure rising to unhealthy levels at the mere mention of Loqi.

The chancellor winked as if he could read his murderous thoughts and Cor felt the sudden urge to take a shower to cleanse himself.

“Oh, definitely. Dear Aranea had to listen to his whining for the entire evening. And I know from experience that his whining can become exquisitely … vocal. But I digress. Actually, I was wondering if you have by any chance seen a certain High Commander. We seem to have momentarily misplaced ours.”

Cor tried to process the chancellor’s words, he really did, but since the conclusion he came to was far too revolting to further think about it he decided to simply ignore most of them. There were things he didn’t want to know about the Niffs. Or anyone really.

“I haven’t seen your High Commander,” he slowly replied after realizing he had just been staring at the man for like half a minute.

He wasn’t exactly sure why he was lying - for a Niff of all people - but he somehow felt that the terrified expression on Ravus’ face had something to do with the chancellor because honestly the man was a fucking creep and people had to be protected from him. Even the High Commander of the imperial army.

Ardyn cocked his head to the side while surveying him with an extremely unsettling gaze that made Cor feel like he was being sexually assaulted. Why was everyone from Niflheim so goddamn thirsty?!

“Is that so, Marshal?,” the chancellor asked softly. “What a shame. Poor Ravus probably got lost in this maze you call a palace, wandering around aimlessly while waiting for someone to aid in his rescue. He’s all alone out there. Anything could happen to him. It would be so helpful if you could give me at least the general direction in which he went. I just want to make sure that he’s safe.”

At this point Cor began to consider to let the Crownsguard look for Ravus before the chancellor could get his hands and him. And probably all over him by the look of it. He shuddered. The young man did not deserve that.

“Sorry, can’t help you.”

He tried to push past Ardyn but was stopped by the man’s gloved fingers catching his wrist in a surprisingly strong grip.

“I know he was here.” Ardyn used the same lighthearted, conversational tone as before, but now there was steel resonating within every syllable. “And you will tell me which way he went.”

“Let go of me,” Cor replied calmly but ready to call his weapons if needed. “Now.”

“You know,” Ardyn continued as if Cor hadn’t said anything. “I’ve heard about you. The Immortal, one of the strongest fighters in the Lucian kingdom ~ Your reputation precedes you. Even Aranea speaks quite highly of you and she’s not easily impressed. It would be such a shame if anything were to happen to you now, wouldn’t it?”

The situation was getting more and more bizarre by the second.

“Are you threatening me?”

Ardyn merely shrugged.

“Maybe. Did it work?”

“No.”

“Pity,” the man sighed. “Well if you excuse me, I have a High Commander to … rescue. And I believe you have a general to apologize to. See you around, Marshal.”

With that, he left as suddenly as he had appeared. And Cor finally understood why storms were named after people.

 

There was absolutely no way he would apologize to Loqi - as Ardyn had so helpfully suggested - for something that had been entirely the general’s fault. If anything the young man would have to apologize to him for ruining his hard-earned reputation. Their encounter was probably the most talked about topic in Insomnia right now.

He had been avoiding using the internet or his phone all day since he could very well imagine what was going on.

When the prince had first been spotted napping on Prompto’s shoulder Twitter had doubled over with excitement for the entirety of two weeks. They had dubbed their supposed relationship #promptis and the drawings of them in compromising positions was still haunting Cor in his nightmares.

He really didn’t want to deal with art of Loqi and him in compromising positions. Not during these peace talks that were so very important to Regis. He would probably murder half of Insomnia and definitely every citizen of the empire in the general vicinity which was probably not the best premise for lasting peace. Or any kind of peace really.

He felt his phone vibrating again, something it had been doing for the better part of his day. So far he had been ignoring it successfully with the stubbornness of someone not quite ready to face their demons. Although slowly but surely he was running out of time.

The negotiations between the king and the emperor were scheduled for after dinner, which would be served in the royal dining hall for the council and guests alike. At least the press was not invited this time. But he should probably check his messages before attending in case he had missed something important.

28 unread messages. Cor groaned. The phone vibrated. 29 unread messages.

He deleted the ones from Drautos without even bothering to read them. It wasn’t too hard to guess their content. There were a few messages from Aranea who complained about Loqi’s bitching and blamed Cor who was still trying to figure out why this woman was talking to him like they had been friends for years when they were on speaking terms since yesterday. And in this particular case speaking terms meant texting terms since that was basically all they were doing.

A single message that stood out from the others due to the number being unknown piqued his interest.

 

**193293234 9:34 AM**

got your number from the prince

why did you leave so suddenly? we could have had so much fun ~

my offer still stands for the duration of our stay here tho

let me know when you’re interested  
  
---  
  
 

Cor would kill Noctis, too. He didn’t care he was the prince and beloved heir to the Lucian throne there was no way in hell that Cor would let him get away with this alive.

 

When he finally reached the dining hall the doors were still open and Noctis was conveniently leaning next to them against the wall, accompanied by his three friends and a very tired looking Aranea who kept yawning during her little chat with the boys.

“Morning Marshal,” she greeted Cor when she first spotted him, bloodshot eyes half closed. “We weren’t sure if you would show up.”

“Monica said you’re sulking,” the prince grinned and Cor grinned back, all teeth and promises of a painful death.

“Did she now? Well, I guess I’m gonna have a word with her later. In the meantime … I was wondering if you could answer me a question, your majesty?”

“Sure, go ahead.”  
“How exactly did my phone number that I gave to only a handful of people I trust - and Drautos because your father unfortunately expects us to work together sometimes - somehow end up in the hand of two Niffs over a span of not even 24 hours?”

“Oh.”

“ _Oh_ indeed.”

“I told him not to tell you for fuck’s sake!”

“Language!”, Ignis sighed, sounding like an exasperated mother hen.

“Aranea said he’d find it out sooner or later anyway,” Noctis tried to defend himself. “Besides, I talked to him. He’s not that bad. And I mean he had you trapped against the wall for ten minutes solid before you decided to make a run for it. You could’ve shoved him away way earlier, but you didn’t soooo ~”

He wiggled his eyebrows and seemed completely oblivious to the fact that he was talking himself deeper and deeper into trouble. The prince was lucky that everyone else around him noticed the impending threat in the form of the Marshal.

“Uh, Noct … maybe … maybe you should-,” began Prompto but was cut short by Gladiolus simply pressing his hand over the prince’s mouth and throwing the boy over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes despite his muffled protests.

“Don’t wait for us,” the prince’s shield grumbled before he left with his squirming package and the two other boys in tow.

Aranea watched their tactical retreat with her eyebrows raised.

“Someone should teach your prince a few basic survival skills,” she remarked. “Like how to keep his pretty mouth shut in obviously dangerous situations.”

Cor snorted.

“He’s a lost cause when it comes to that.”

Aranea simply smiled and crossed her arms.

“Not the best trait for a future king if you ask me.”

“I’m not asking you.”

She rolled her eyes.

“Don’t be rude. It’s not my fault that you can’t handle Loqi’s attempts in flirting. Speaking of Loqi you might wanna be careful. He’s been looking for you all morning. I’m pretty sure he’s considering you as a challenge now. Not many people have rejected him in the past. The fact that you did makes you even more interesting to him.”

“Oh great,” Cor muttered angrily. “Just what I needed.”

“To be fair you look like that is exactly what you need.”

He gave her a dirty look.

“None of your business.”

“Oh, it is already my business, believe me. Or why do you think I look like death warmed over? He kept me awake until 4 in the morning. I had to listen to him analyzing your every move over and over again. I wouldn’t have to put up with that if you had just fucked him, you know.”

“I have standards.”

“Ouch.” Aranea grinned and offered him her arm. “Well, we better get inside, Marshal, before they serve dinner without us. I’m so hungry I could eat an entire Garulessa all by myself.”

“If you manage to do that I’m gonna officially start to respect you.”

Side by side they entered the dining hall and joined the crowd.

 

Cor had planned to attend the dinner not as a guest, but in his usual position as a guard for Regis but the king had told him to quit being a fool and that there was no way Cor would miss out on this.

“You have enough capable man to do the job,” Regis had sighed. “I promise the world won’t end if you relax for one damn day, Cor.”

And that was the reason he was standing here now, staring in disbelief at his place card next to Loqi’s who thankfully hadn’t arrived yet and contemplated if a leap out of the window from this height would be enough to kill him. Aranea cackled. He hated her. And he hated the king who was probably responsible for this unusual seating arrangement and wanted to see Cor suffer.

When he glared at Regis, the man grinned and dared to give him the thumbs up.

“I guess this is gonna be a fun dinner, then,” Aranea stated.

She was seated between the missing Ravus and Caligo who was currently buried in the book he had brought and payed zero attention to what was happening around him. When Aranea playfully poked him, he swatted her hand away without even looking up.

“Nerd,” she murmured, and slumped lazily over his shoulders like a big cat, her chin digging into his collarbone. It looked painful, but Caligo didn’t even flinch. “Have you seen Ravus?”

“No.”

“Damn. Ardyn’s not here either. Do you think-”

“I might be able to help with that,” Cor interrupted her. “But only if you agree to switch seats with me.”

“No way.”

“General?”

“No.”

This was more than frustrating.

“Well, it was worth a try. Last time I saw your High Commander he was running for his dear life from your chancellor who seemed very eager to find him,” he told them anyway since he felt a little guilty for completely forgetting about Ravus’ predicament.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought,” Aranea sighed and buried her face at Caligo’s shoulder. “But he’d already gotten in touch if the situation was serious,” she mumbled. “They’ll show up eventually.”

“Speaking of showing up …” Caligo had finally given up on his book and nudged Aranea. “What in the name of the Six is he wearing?”

“By the gods,” Aranea gasped in disbelief. “Why does he have to be like this?”

Cor turned around to see what the fuss was about and regretted instantly every decision he had ever made in his life. The leather pants Loqi wore were so tight Cor was almost impressed that he had actually managed to get into that thing. He absent-mindedly wondered how the general intended to take them off again before he punched himself in the face internally for this thought. He was **so** not going there. Still the pants left very little to imagination. The same went for his T-Shirt that also happened to be translucent in addition. At least he wore a leather jacket over it which would be much more effective if he had actually closed it.

More than one head turned in Loqi's direction when he crossed the hall. His eyes, however were solely on Cor again, who in return did now his best to avoid looking in his general direction.

“Aldercapt will blame me for this again,” Aranea sighed and Cor noticed the frown on the emperor’s face. “Aranea, you can’t let him walk around like that. Aranea, this is important for the empire’s future. Aranea, keep him under control,” she gave her impression of Aldercapt. “Like I’m his mom or something.”

“Might as well be,” Caligo muttered. “It’s not like you and Ravus don’t fuss over him all the time.”

She gave him the stink eye.

In the meantime Loqi had reached their little group and greeted them all with a wicked smile.

“Hey, Aranea, Caligo. Marshal ~”

When he addressed Cor his voice somehow dropped an octave and reminded Cor of yesterday when Loqi’s whole body had been pressed against his and he had purred Cor’s name in the same tone and boy his thoughts were definitely wandering in the wrongest possible direction. Cor decided to just nod and avoid eye contact. Thankfully Loqi decided to let him off the hook for now and looked around quizzically.

“Where’s Ravus?”

“Probably hiding in the darkest corner he could find,” Aranea muttered.

“Again? He should just get it over with. Ardyn really is not that bad.”

“Ardyn is a goddamn serial killer for all we know and Ravus is …”

“Complicated? Bitchy?,” Loqi suggested.

“I’m talking about Ravus, honey. Not you.”

“Very funny, Aranea.”

 

Their bickering was interrupted by the king’s request for everyone to take their assigned seats. Apparently he was tired of waiting for their missing guests. When Loqi sat down his shoulder brushed against Cor’s and the Marshal had to suppress a long-suffering sigh. This would be a very challenging dinner without a doubt.

In the beginning Loqi didn’t even try to force a conversation on him. Cor knew instinctively that this was just the calm before the storm, but he still tried his best to enjoy these precious minutes of peace.

They were halfway through the second course when he felt a hand on his thigh, flinched and hit his knee at the table. Loqi recoiled instantly, but gave him a smile that indicated he would try it again. And he did a few minutes later. This time Cor was prepared, snatched his wrist and removed the intruding hand from places it definitely did not belong. They did this a few times, Cor in grim silence, Loqi with a widening grin until the young general grew bored of this game.

“What are you so afraid of, Marshal,” he murmured,

“I’m not afraid,” Cor snapped despite better knowledge. “You’re annoying.”

“But that’s not what you thought yesterday, isn’t it?”

Loqi took the tip of his seasoned Midgardsormr in his mouth. Cor swallowed. Hard.

“You are annoying,” he repeated slowly.

“You already said it. But I still think you don’t mean it. Not really.”

Cor snorted.

“Oh, believe me, I do mean it. Really.”

“Why did you leave?”

“Seriously?”

“Seriously. You were obviously very interested, but you changed your mind so suddenly I almost got whiplash. So what was it?”

“Your personality.”

Loqi laughed.

“I have a great personality, ask Aranea.” The woman in question snorted, but Loqi didn’t seem to care. “Besides, it’s not like we had time to get to know each other’s personality.”

“These few minutes were enough.”

“I don’t believe you.”

His hand was on Cor’s thigh again. During their conversation the marshal had subconsciously moved into Loqi’s personal space so that their faces were now way closer than he had intended them to be. He reached down to remove Loqi’s hand once again, but the young man was having none of it. Instead, he used his own free hand to stop Cor. The hand on his thigh proceeded to slowly move higher. Loqi met his murderous glare with an amused smile and raised his eyebrows.

“I know you don’t wanna make a scene, Marshal. Tell me why you left and maybe I’ll stop for now.”

“Bastard,” Cor hissed and gasped when Loqi’s hand brushed against his cock without warning only to settle on his thigh again.

“I’m waiting.”

“Fine. You just had to go and use that goddamn awful pick up line on me.”

“Really?” Loqi laughed in disbelief. “That’s the reason?”

“That’s a perfectly good reason. That line was terrible and I should’ve arrested you on the spot for using it.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t have minded that, Marshal.”

“Not the good kind of arresting.”

Loqi laughed again. He studied Cor for a moment as if he was considering what to do with him then his eyes lit up as if his brain had just formed an idea. Cor eyed him suspiciously.

“I gather you don’t think I could seduce you by using pick up lines?”

“You will not seduce me at all. Period.”

“Are you willing to bet?”

“What?”

“A bet. If you win I will leave you alone as soon as the peace talks are over. If I win … well, I guess my prize figures. So you really got nothing to lose since you’re so convinced that I won’t be successful.”

Over Loqi’s shoulder, he saw Aranea frantically shaking her head and moving her fingers across her throat. “Don’t do it,” she mouthed along with Cor’s reasonable half. The unreasonable half, however who wanted to prove that there was no way Loqi would ever end up in his bed, especially not by using bad pick up lines was louder.

“Alright,” he agreed. “You’re on.”

“I was hoping you’d say that.” Loqi sounded like he had already won. “Don’t think I will make this easy for you.”

His hand that Cor had momentarily forgotten about began to move again. Cor almost jumped when Loqi’s hand slipped between his thighs and he could feel his cock hardening while Loqi’s palm rubbed firmly against it. This was not happening. He could barely suppress a moan when Loqi shot him a heated look, his blue eyes glittering with mischief and arousal. He wanted to tell him to fuck off, he wanted to get the hell out of here, but he just couldn’t bring himself to stop this. Just like yesterday. Aranea was probably right. This bet had been a really bad idea.

“Loqi, if you give him a hand job under the table I will cut your fucking hand right off, I swear to the gods,” Aranea’s voice hit them both like a bucket of ice water and Loqi’s hand vanished instantly, leaving Cor half hard and oddly disappointed.

Aranea glared at them while Caligo looked slightly sick.

“Spoilsport,” Loqi grumbled and winked at Cor. “Of course we could always take this to my quarters.”

“In your dreams.”

“Oh please don’t tell me you would have stopped me on your own accord. You were into it, admit it.”

“In. Your. Dreams,” Cor repeated, emphasizing every word.

Loqi smirked and leaned forward.

“No, Marshal,” he purred into Cor’s ear. “My dreams are much more intense. In my dreams you’re holding me down while I’m begging you to fuck me.” His lips were brushing against Cor’s earlobe. “In my dreams I’m on my knees for you, choking on your cock while you’re fucking my face. In my dreams I’m screaming your name until my voice gives out.”

Cor closed his eyes and slowly counted to ten. He shivered when Loqi’s teeth grazed his ear. His cock was uncomfortably hard in his pants and he felt like he was going to lose his mind.

“Stop it,” he hissed.

“Why? Are you already losing?”

Cor really wanted to punch the smugness off Loqi’s face.

“This is against the rules.”

“There are no rules, Marshal. No one said anything about me exclusively having to use pick up lines to get you to fuck me. You should have thought about that earlier. But if you insist …”

He locked eyes, beautiful blue eyes, with Cor while he slowly brought his forefinger to his own lips and licked the tip. Cor raised his eyebrows, wondering what he was up to now. Grinning, he touched the shirt Cor was wearing.

“Let’s get you out of these wet clothes.”

Cor rolled his eyes and tried to fight the smile that was threatening to overtake his face.

“Seriously?”

“Well, you’re not looking particularly unhappy. And you haven’t left yet which is an improvement.”

“For fuck’s sake, get a room already,” Aranea groaned and looked up from her phone. “Caligo is going to start crying if you keep doing _this_.”

She made a vague gesture in their direction.

“I’m not going to start crying,” the older general huffed, but Cor had never seen someone look that uncomfortable ever before.

“She’s right, maybe we should get a room,” Loqi suggested with a grin.

“Over my dead body.”

“I can arrange that,” threatened Aranea.

 

**2:47 PM Highwind**

hey r u ok  
  
---  
  
**3:02 PM Highwind**  
ravus???  
  
---  
  
**3:22 PM Highwind**

DUDE

u still alive???  
  
---  
  
**3:34 PM Ravus Nox Fleuret**

Hello, this is Ardyn. I’m afraid that Ravus is currently indisposed but if you want me to deliver a message to him go ahead.  
  
---  
  
**3:35 PM Highwind**

ARDYN

LISTEN TO ME

WHATEVER IT IS U R DOING TO HIM

STOP IT RIGHT NOW

I WILL FIND U

AND I WILL KILL U  
  
---  
  
**3:37 PM Ravus Nox Fleuret**

;)  
---  
  
**Author's Note:**

> you can follow me on [tumblr](http://erskinravel.tumblr.com/) and cry with me about final fantasy xv if you want


End file.
